attachment.
attachment - the desire to be with the person causing you such feelings that do not cause other people. It differs from the others. Have you established any special intimacy. This understanding of each other on some deep level, which does not pass them words, but it can only be felt. He co-configured for you. You sound a single tone. Attachment - a desire to enter into this with-minded and to be intimate, to be in harmony. Was this closeness is needed, because usually you do not feel with anyone else.
Attachment occurs when at a meeting with a man or after some time spent with him, you experience a warm feeling to it, you open yourself, you trust, you feel good. And since we humans like to we were good, then we are naturally inclined to be where it is "good" is. And it is this craving to get "good" and is attached. It's just like having a favorite variety of tea, a favorite car or person. The basis of our elections is always "good." If there are people who are linked to "bad", it is because through it is "bad" they somehow obtained a well. For example, a wife arguing with her husband and at that moment gets a "bad", but after a swearing man jumps in front of her and tries to make amends his guilt, at this point she gets a "good" and this "good" bound. A long way, of course, has many problems, but "good" is our top priority.
The fact that the affection you have there, can say that normally you do not co-tuned with other people. You do not receive inputs from them in response. Usually you do with them in dissonance. You do not know how or do not want to be harmonious with others. Maybe you think that it is impossible to be harmonious all? You're wrong. Harmony begins with you, and it picks up other people. It's like playing tennis: pass - skip, Spacing - pass. When the game is already underway, already I can not say who started first. But when the game is opened, the first is determined simply: in the game by drawing lots, and in life - your desire to be harmonious.
Harmony, as well as "good" - this is the main goal of our life. We have his entire life working to build so as to be in harmony, to be in "good". This is not always successfully obtained, but this is a matter of choosing the path, and the goal is always the same - harmony and "good."
Trust.
One of the reasons for disharmony, the reluctance first opens - your distrust of the person next to you. Do you trust people who are already familiar with. You are their already checked. Are not you afraid that they or you fail deceived. But people strangers or acquaintances little you initially do not trust. And logically - this is correct. How can you trust, not knowing the person, not eating with him though would spoon of salt? - You think you are. But it is precisely at this point is your logic is wrong. Its irregularity is this: do you expect from a new acquaintance to confirm that you can trust him, while he initially distrust. He feels your confidence and also does not trust you. And rightly so. After all, you do not answer to the sincerity, Who is lying? Why then do you expect the answer to your lack of confidence is trust? Initially did not trust the people we deprive ourselves of opportunities to get "good", and then those rare people whom we trust, become significant to us humans. They give us the "good", and we are drawn to them. We become attached to them. And the reason for the attachment that we want to trust, we need to be open, we want to be emotionally close to others. This is our basic needs.
But we are accustomed to not to trust without verifying a person, so until such time as it will become for us his own, he remains for us is not his, as if to say more - he remains an enemy until such time as he proves that he is a friend. How many enemies you have created your mistrust? You yourself create them. In fact, they are much smaller. You're their original infusion of "you - the enemy creates an enemy, even without knowing man, and then you try to convince the enemy that you can be friends. What a long way to go ... do not be easier to would initially make friends, and only then when they show that they are not friends, translate them into the category of enemies in the category of those who do not you trust me?
That that you initially did not believe in people, says that you're afraid to show or prove to be vulnerable. In your soul there is a sick place that you do not want to open anyone, even close friends, even himself. You think you'll be unprotected if you let yourself open to another person. And the more you close, the harder you will be open. It's a habit - to be closed.
So are you afraid that people deceive you, because in the life of so many examples of naive credulity. But I'm not saying that we should be naive fool, I say that the initial, basic disposition of your soul let it be trusted, and only then can you trust Change in disbelief. This approach will let the strategy of your life, not vice versa.
But the question arises: whether to open up to people? My answer - it is necessary. Even in a business relationship trust - the foundation of the business. But any confidence is reinforced by the financial arrangements and insurance - deposits. But we talking about the attitude of people here are much simpler. We are talking about trust as soon as the ability to open another person, to show herself to him such what you currently have, rather than playing in front of him a role that is only a small part of you.
Yes, you may have and so that people recognize you now, turn away from you. So what? It just means that the man was the one that judges people and divides them into good and bad. And for you it may be a signal to the fact that you have to do themselves and make themselves, their souls, their essence better. This means that you have more room to grow. And it's great.
not opening ourselves people, you get used to not open themselves currently. You hide yourself away and hide any of their parties, which hinder you to be yourself, be divine. You try embellish themselves in front of him, just like other people. You're lying to them and myself. And this lies within you creates a gaping hole on one side of which is what you have in yourself to accept and be happy people and currently shows on the other hand, the dark part of your hidden, which you do not show even to himself. You try to forget about it, but somewhere deep down you feel that with you that something is wrong, but you can not even figure out - what's not. You zavralsya and confused itself. Honesty to yourself - that can help you stop being forked. An honest look at their strashnosti can give you the opportunity to change them. Realizing his jealousy, noting the reasons for it and accepted it, you absorb its share of another, which had previously existed somewhere in your body, but not you. can consist of many parts, some of which you like and others do not. This is a road to nowhere. A piece of metal is stronger handful of iron filings.
in the family trust - the foundation of a strong and happy relationships. If you do not trust a loved one, if you can not share with him their fears, doubts and incomprehensible thoughts, he could not support you. You can not resolve the conflict because the conflict is not in our actions and our character and our personality, in our principles in life and stereotypes. If the favorite did not know that hurts you, he can not help you. He tries, of course, to guess, but as it can do if you did not know yourself?
Understanding begins when we absolve ourselves from all the masks and exposes the soul. I show a close such a I currently have. With all my fears and doubts, with all its uncertainties and dependencies. I say your loved one - here, now I am. And, of course, I look forward to a response does not laugh at my foibles, and understanding of my weaknesses. Do not sneer at my fears, and a friendly helping hand in combating them. Do not smile echidna in response to my concerns, and open, kind smile, giving force.
But here there is a danger that my confidence will not be accepted. That my openness to surprise and shocking to a man who simply was not accustomed to such relationships. After all, we taught all the time does not show what we really are. Every minute we pretend. When you feel sadness, we answer the question: how you feel, fit and hard - well, no problems. If we hold out a friendly hand of help, we repelled it, because I do not want to show that we need it. We are unaccustomed to trust and confidence are used to repel. Thus we create around himself a world where everyone is lying each currently. We disaccustoms each other's trust and confidence to take. Thus we create a world of hostility around them, and in this world we live.
Reason confidence, as I said, a variety of fears. And the reason is fear - the weakness. Each of us has his weaknesses. We know about them, but have forgotten because they do not want to admit their weaknesses themselves. Again - we both learned: do not be weak. This is especially true of men. Conversely, if women were taught to be weak, which is also not the best support character for a man, the men were taught that a real man does not show weakness. If he dies, then laughing enemies in the face, and if love is suffering, but not showing it to anyone. This man, in the representation of the people - is a courageous, kamenolitsy type that one and the same expression on his face and loves and hates. All his feelings inside. But inside they are constrained to, God forbid, do not break out.
Man always holding back their feelings. If joy, then at the floor glow that no one looked askance and only officially sanctioned occasion - weddings, for example. If the mountain, then with a stingy man's tears, which is hard to get out from under nabryakshego century. If an orgasm, then clenched his teeth, if the pain, then through pursed lips. The man is almost always pinched. As it was once taught, so he lives. But this approach causes him to throw all the forces to fight with your emotions.
emotion - it is energy. When She begins to move within us, the soul responds and begins to sound. To suppress the emotions of the energy required to send her energy is several times greater the same energy from which is emotion. Thus, within a person creates a bubble of emotional energy, with all sides enclosed by the same energy, but against that, what's inside. Body fights itself, and this fight is no winner. Everybody loses. Man loses life forces, and the body - health.
Exercise: Pereprozhivaem emotions and let go of them.
order to escape from jammed the energy needed give her a way out. Make it very simple: all of life - the experience of basic emotions with different strength. Anger, fear, joy, frustration, hurt, crying, laughing - that's Perhaps the minimal list on which to build the rest of the range of feelings. And these are the basic components we stifle. You allow yourself to get angry to the maximum? But fear? And so glad to take off like? A long time ago you were crying so sobs shook your whole body?
suppose that to some extent you have all these feelings pinch. So now you have them, and release. I usually do these exercises in the woods, where I no one can see and hear. The apartment is not what the neighbors behind the wall, still decide that I "went to the roof," I somehow do not care and they live with this knowledge. Therefore, we go into the woods.
and finding yourself a suitable place, take what you at first glance, it seems to include himself in the easiest and begin to rejoice, for instance. First you have obtained it will be ugly, you'll always look back - if you can not see who? You'll be ashamed of himself, and the voice inside will tell you: so why you all this nonsense?! Yes, let's go better just to walk through the woods .... Do not listen to him. It is temptation. For you is more important - vyradovatsya. And then - prozlitsya. Up to the heels. You can even break trees and teeth to tear the earth. Can you beat all fallen under the hand and break for no reason. And most importantly - give the opportunity to take possession of your anger you. Do not restrain it. let your body writhes and sweats, screams and splutter. Surrender to this feeling. And after a while you let go. You fall to the ground, you will still little squirm and shake, but stepped inside - the emptiness and silence .... And facilitating the release of ... ... As the body begins to flood the energy that was once a constraint. The body begins to revive, it will want to get up. Maybe will be emotionally drained, but physically you will feel great because you released from another mental time. Your pain - gone.
desire to trust - this is normal, vivid sense of each person.
Disbelief - that for us unnatural. Soul loves and wants to trust, and if all people were pure in their thoughts, then the question of lack of confidence just was not raised like. But we live in a world where deception and intrigue - it's part of life, so the confidence for us is the remedy. After all, in fact, in life there are no problems, but our presence creates them. If we had not assessed the situation as difficult for us, it would be easy. Or not at all be the situation, but just an ordinary episode of life.
Psychologist Master NLP, director and playwright - Gennady Pavlenko.
author projects: www.gennadij.pavlenko.name , www.sudba.info .
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