Unconditional Love and Idealization idealize - which means re-evaluate, to erect on a pedestal to worship, to create an idol.
Love , creative and administering the world, different from the idealization of the fact that it essentially passionless , paradoxically sounds.
Unconditional love - it is love without the right of possession , without admiration worship. In other words, unconditional love does not create a relationship of dependency between those who love the subject and his love.
This simple formula will help determine where love ends and begins an idealization.
Imagine you are walking along a mountain valley immersed in greenery and flowers. You admire this wonderful landscape, smell the air live, your soul is filled with happiness and peace. This is love.
Then, you begin to gather flowers. You tear them, crumples his hands, not thinking that they are alive, then they slowly die. Next, you will come to mind that one can make perfumes and cosmetics, they can simply sell, or even create a cult of flowers and worship them as idolam.Eto idealization because in all these cases are the dependency relationships between you and the subject of your ex-love - flowers. From the love that existed at that when you simply enjoyed the spectacle of the valley flowers, no trace remains.
Revaluation is empowering human qualities that he really really is not. On the mental level, this manifests itself in the form of illusion, seemingly innocuous. But the energy level is excess capacity. Potential created wherever there is a difference of some quantity or quality. Reassessment, this is just a mental simulation, and the concentration of certain qualities where they really do not. Here there are two options.
first option when space is filled, ie there is a specific person, which confer non-relevant qualities. To troubleshoot the heterogeneity, the equilibrium of force should provide a counterbalance. For example, romantic and dreamy boy envisions his beloved as "an angel of pure beauty." Actually, it turns out that it is completely down to earth person, loves fun and very not inclined to share the dreams of tragic love boys. In any other case, when a person makes an idol and raises him on a pedestal, sooner or late is debunking myths.
In the second case, when in place of artificially created illusory qualities in general there is no object appear rosy dreams and castles in the air. Dreamer head in the clouds, trying to get away from the ugly reality. Thus, it creates excess capacity. Equilibrium of force, in this case, to destroy the castles in the air will constantly push the dreamer with the harsh reality. Even if such a dreamer able to captivate his idea of \u200b\u200ba mass of people and create a pendulum, it is still a utopia is doomed, because there was excess capacity from scratch, and the equilibrium power sooner or later the pendulum will stop.
Another example is when the subject of the revaluation, there is only an ideal. Suppose a woman envisions portrait of an ideal husband. The harder her belief that it should be just this fact, the more you create excess capacity. Well, it can pay off only entity with qualities quite the opposite. And then makes you wonder: "And where were my eyes?" Conversely, if a woman is actively hates drunkenness and rude, she seemed to fall into a trap and finds himself an alcoholic or a boor. Man gets what is not actively accept, because that radiates mental energy at a frequency of his dislike, and in addition, has created excess capacity. Life often brings together people of completely different, which would seem quite suited to each other is not. Since the equilibrium of force, pushing people with opposite potentials, they tend to pay off.
Most clearly the action of the equilibrium of forces is manifested in children, because they are energetically more sensitive than adults, and behave naturally. If praise a child too, he will start immediately from harm capricious. And if you seek to please the child, he will despise you, or at least respect certainly will not. If all the forces seek to make a child's well-mannered good girl, he probably will get in touch with bad company at street. If you try to mold him from child prodigy, he will lose all interest in the study. And the more actively to bring down upon him all sorts of clubs and schools, the more the likelihood that he will grow gray person. The best principles of education and attitudes towards children (not only) that does not create excess capacity - Is to treat them as guests, that means giving them the attention, respect and freedom of choice, not allowing it to sit in on his head. Attitude should based on the same analogy, that you are not more than a guest in this world. If you accept the rules of the game and not rush into extremes, you are allowed to choose all that is in this world.
positive attitude of some people to others as common as negative. In this case, there is some balance. There is hatred, and there is love. Steady good relationship does not cause excess capacity. Potential arises when there is a noticeable shift estimates of the nominal value.
zeroed in on the scale of the displacement can be considered as unconditional love.
As you know, unconditional love, in which there is no relationship of dependency does not create excess capacity.
But this love in its pure form is rare. In general, clean Love added impurity the right of possession, dependency, and reassessment. The right of possession is difficult to refuse - to have the object of love is quite natural and, in general, normal, until it turns into two extremes.
first extreme - desire to possess the object of love that you do not belong and does not even know about this desire. (Of course, you know what I mean not only the physical aspect of possession.) This is a classic case of unrequited love. Unrequited love always generates a lot of suffering. However, the mechanism is not as trivial as it may seem. Recall again the example with the flowers. That you love to walk among them and admire them, and you'll never come to mind thoughts of worry, and they love you. Now try to imagine: that think about your flowers? Appear different bad assumptions, such as: fear, fear, hostility and indifference. And why should they love you? Or, you have the desire to keep them in their hands, and can not - they are growing in a flowerbed, or expensive to sell. All this is not love but dependency ratio, and your mood ranges shadow of negative emotions.
Thus, in one place is the object of your love in another place you are and you want the object belonged to you, that is create a potential energy source. It can be assumed that this potential will attract the subject to you, just as the wind rushes from the field High in the low pressure area. Certainly not! Equilibrium forces of indifference, as equilibrium is reached, so they can choose another path - To postpone the subject of your love even further, and you neutralize that is, you break my heart. On top of that, at the slightest setbacks, you'll tend to all over dramatize the situation ("he / she does not love me!"), so these thoughts you drag over the line of life, where up to mutual love so far.
stronger your desire to possess, that is, the response of love, the stronger the effect of equilibrium of forces. Of course, if equilibrium forces will select the direction of bringing together your with the object of love, the story ends a happy ending. The direction of the equilibrium of forces is easy to determine at the outset of nucleation of love: if you will wake up the right to possession, then there is the desire of reciprocity, and from the outset that something does not work, then need to drastically change tactics. Namely, to love, without requiring the award, while the unstable oscillations of the equilibrium of forces can win and get to work for you. Otherwise, the situation is like an avalanche out of control, and change something would be almost impossible. One conclusion: to achieve reciprocity, we should just love and not try to be loved. In this case, firstly, does not create excess capacity, and hence does not appear the 50 percent probability that the equilibrium forces will act against you. Secondly, if you do not seek reciprocity, you do not appear dramatic and uncontrollable thoughts about unrequited love and your light is not draws you to the appropriate line of life. Conversely, if you just love without possession, then the radiation parameters satisfy the lines of life, where the affection was mutual. After all, with mutual love, too, there is no relationship of dependency. If you already have, you are no longer concerned with the question the right of possession. Imagine, how increase your chances just because you have abandoned ownership! And then, unconditional love - such a rarity that one it already has attracted interest and sympathy. Did you yourself would not be pleased if someone loves you just like that, no matter what no pretensions?
second extreme right of possession - it is Of course jealousy. In this case, the equilibrium of forces is also two options. If the object of love you already own, the first option - even more than you do to pull together. In fact, some even to some extent like the jealousy of the second half. Yet another variant of the equilibrium of forces is reduced to the destruction of what gave rise to jealousy, that is love itself. In this case, the stronger the jealousy, the more grave for love.
It's like that to go from enjoying aroma flowers to the production of these perfumes. "
tenderloin: " Reality Transurfing Stage 1 "
